Criticism and Praise are Twins

Negative reinforcement often motivates me more than positive. I'm a bit masochistic, perhaps. Tell me what I'm doing wrong and I'll bust my ass to do better, to fix it, to make sure you never have to say that again. 

Tell me I'm great and I blush, feel uncomfortable and change the topic. Look, there's an owl! 

I like critique. I like challenges. I like being taught and sent on the right path. I like hearing No. (Unless it's in any way related to ice cream) And like I posted here, Praise Make You Feel Good, Critique Makes You Better.

Of course, we all need our backs patted every now and then, and a good ole fashioned high five never hurt anybody. That acknowledgement and support go a long way. But if it's too much,
too often - or worse yet, when you know you don't deserve it - that praise starts losing its spark and becomes meaningless. 

If you know you'll always get a blue ribbon and ice cream cone, why try harder? Why do things differently? 

Criticism may make you feel uncomfortable, but knowing what you're doing wrong helps you get to doing what's right. And praise should show you what's right so you can keep doing it and push to do more. 

This post by Scott H Young has some really great insights I wanted to share with you all to get you thinking about how to take praise and criticism and make them propel you forward and push you to do more, do better and be better. 

Praise and Criticism Are The Same
Here are the highlights: 

  • Praise and criticism are just reflections of each other and you need to be able to handle both of them properly.
  • The person that is easily flattered is also easily criticized.
  • The Problem With Praise 
    • Embracing every piece of praise you receive leads to overconfidence. 
    • Accepting praise without thought exposes you to criticism. (i.e. getting too hype on how great everyone says you are will make it extra disappointing when anyone says you are not.)
    • Praise can lower your motivation to work hard.
    • Excessive flattery promotes laziness.
  • Stop Caring What Other People Think Of You
    • The solution to prevent the excesses of praise and the humiliation of criticism is to stop caring what other people think.
    • Accept the feedback within the praise or criticism and ignore the rest.
    • Don’t get distracted from your bigger goal.
  • Start Caring What You Think of Yourself
    • No matter what praise or criticism you get, if what you’re doing doesn’t reflect your true goals or values, you won’t be happy.
    • Ask yourself: “Is what I’m doing aligned with my goals?”
    • Listen to yourself.
  • Humble Confidence
    • You are humble because you accept all feedback, search for actionable suggestions, and are open to any opportunity.
    • You don’t allow praise or criticism to distract you from your goals.
    • When insulted, thank the person and focus on your goal
    • When praised, thank the person and focus on your goal.

Read the full article here